


Bring Them Down With You

by thesinnerwiththedolphintattoo



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Cheating, Infidelity, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-16 16:43:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11832807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesinnerwiththedolphintattoo/pseuds/thesinnerwiththedolphintattoo
Summary: A new family moves in to the cul-de-sac and Robert makes it his job to find out what secrets lie underneath those smiles. And if he can't find any, he'll just make some himself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is just set-up, so nothing explicit going on here. Future chapters will live up to the rating ;)

Robert was never one to enjoy gossip or be nosy, but he couldn’t help watching from his window as the moving van pulled up to the house next door and a family who could’ve been nominated for “most perfect family” exited the van.

A husband, his very pregnant wife, and their toddler. Dressed immaculately, hair combed, all smiles even when they didn’t know anyone was watching.

The man grabbed his son and hoisted him into his arms, directing the movers carrying their belongings into the house. The family disappeared with them and Robert refilled his glass of whiskey before sitting back down and turning on the tv.

He was pretty sure it was because of his own bitterness surrounding his life and choices, but he had difficulty getting the perfect little family out of his head.

* * *

 

A knock on the door in the evening woke him from dozing off.

He got up slowly, trying to hide the wrappers, bottles, and cans that littered the floor from sight, before finally opening his door.

He was greeted by the smiling face of his new neighbor and a plate of fresh cookies, “Hi there! I’m Joseph, my family and I just moved in next door,” he said, gesturing to his house.

“I know. Saw you,” Robert grumbled while eyeing him up and down.

He couldn’t have been older than 35, face only showing the smallest hints of age, blond hair styled perfectly, clothes ironed and tight enough that his muscles under his shirt were very clearly outlined. He had nice arms, prominent biceps, and his Polo hinted at his well-toned chest.

Robert never thought the pretty middle-class, white picket-fence guy would be his type but he surprised himself when he realized how long he’d been staring. He also couldn’t help but feel insecure as well as old. He probably wasn’t that much older than him, but stress and whiskey hadn’t been kind to him. Not like he actively took care of himself, though. Not since losing Marilyn and Val leaving.

Joseph tentatively handed over the plate of cookies, snapping Robert out of his thoughts, “So do you have a name?”

“Robert.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Robert. My wife and I are planning a barbecue for the neighborhood once we get settled in. Most likely on Sunday after church. You should join us and bring anyone you’d like.”

Robert nodded, popping a cookie into his mouth, “Sure.”

“Alright then, I will let you know the details once we get things straightened out.”

Joseph stood awkwardly for a few seconds, hoping Robert would maybe make some sort of effort, before saying, “I guess I should get back to unpacking. It was nice to meet you,” and walking back towards his house.

Robert watched him go before closing his door and sighing, head pounding.

There had to be secrets there. And he was going to find them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short chapter to get things set up. lots of dialogue in this one. I love writing Mary.   
> also hope y'all don't mind me throwing my headcanons in here.

A few days after the Christiansens moved in Robert received a memo in his mailbox with the details for the cookout Joseph had told him about. The memo was handwritten in very curvy writing and decorated with pink and blue designs— everything Robert should’ve expected out of Joseph and yet he was still shocked by how cliché and horrible it was. His wife was probably even worse.

He threw the memo on his kitchen counter and forgot about it until the day of the barbecue when he was woken by the noise of way too many goddamn people in the yard next to his. He got up and tried to make himself presentable, figuring that he couldn’t avoid going, splashing his face with water, combing his hair, and spraying a small amount of cologne to cover up the fact that he hadn’t showered. By the time he was finished and actually somewhat awake he was already an hour late, which was perfect because Robert never showed up to anything on time.

He made his way over and was instantly greeted by Joseph who paused his conversation with Damien and came to say hello to Robert.

“I’m so glad you could make it,” he smiled brightly, “There’s plenty of food and people to talk to. Please, make yourself at home.”

Joseph went back to making conversation with his guests while Robert made his way over to the table where the food was laid out, grabbing a plateful of desserts and eating in solitude. Everything was delicious and Robert hated this family for how good they were at everything.

“And who might you be?”

He turned to see Joseph’s very pregnant wife wobbling towards him with a hand on her belly and a glass of something red in her other hand.

“Robert.”

She held out a hand and they shook, amazing Robert by how firm of a handshake she gave. Her gaze was piercing and Robert thought she might actually be able to see through him. “The name’s Mary. I know you’ve met my husband already, since he insisted on baking about 800 cookies and giving them to all of our neighbors.”

“They were pretty good.”

“Oh please, he’s the world’s best baker, or whatever,” she rolled her eyes. “World’s best neighbor, world’s best griller, world’s best dad. Poster boy for White Picket Fence Weekly. Every middle-aged Jesus-loving mom’s wet dream.”

Robert raised an eyebrow, “Doesn’t seem like you agree.”

She sighed, taking a sip of her drink, which he figured was probably cranberry juice, “Don’t get me wrong, I love him, but I wish he wasn’t so fake around everyone. He’s a lot more interesting when he’s himself, but he’s all about image and perfection and he can’t bear to have people thinking there’s anything wrong with us.” She snorted, “You’d think he would’ve given that up after our shotgun marriage. There’s no pretending you’re God’s perfect child when your bride-to-be is clearly knocked-up. But here we are 4 years later— he gets all the glamour while I’m eating for three.”

“Twins?”

“Yup, and I’m just about ready to die. One gremlin inside me was enough, now I’ve got two fighting over my resources. The way they’re moving around I bet we’re gonna have our hands full. How are my hellspawn doing today?” She rubbed her belly and laughed.

Robert couldn’t help but genuinely smile. He was pleasantly surprised by Mary and was still having a difficult time believing that she was married to Joseph. They were definitely an odd pair. If she wasn’t pregnant he probably would’ve invited her out to Jim and Kim’s.

“So what about you, sailor, got any kids?”

“Nah, I live alone.” Not a complete lie but still not exactly the truth. She didn’t need to know every detail of his private life, though he felt a bit guilty since she was being so honest.

“Sounds like heaven. Haven’t had peace and quiet since we had Chris.”

He shrugged, trying not to let his face betray him and hint at any actual emotion, “It can be lonely I guess.”

“You got hobbies?”

“Knives, drinking, and hunting cryptids.”

She laughed, “You are one weird man, Robert. I like you. Feel free to come by anytime. God knows I can use the company. Joseph’s gonna be busy wrapping himself up in the church and the neighborhood, so I can probably use someone sane to keep me grounded.”

It was Robert’s turn to laugh as he pulled out a flask and quickly took a drinking before pocketing it again, “Most people would disagree with you using me for sanity.”

“I’m not most people,” she shrugged. Mary groaned when she noticed Joseph waving her over to talk to more guests, “Duty calls. You’d think he’d bring them to me since I’m walking like a damn penguin. It was nice talking to you, sailor.” She winked and waddled off, leaving Robert to brood by himself with the food.

The rest of the party went by without incidence and before Robert knew it he was one of the last guests there. Probably the booze he’d been sneaking or the ungodly amount of food he’d eaten, which was enough to put him in a coma for the rest of the night.

He walked up to Joseph and tapped him on the shoulder. Joseph turned and smiled at him and Robert noticed for the first time that the man’s eyes were different colors.

“Did you want to speak to me…?” Joseph chuckled awkwardly and Robert was pulled out of his thoughts, realizing he’d been staring again.

“Yeah. Uh, great party. I should get going. Just wanted to say thanks for the food, I guess.” He turned to leave before looking back at Joseph, “Also your wife’s pretty cool. You should spend more time with her.”

Joseph blinked a few times before nodding and waving to Robert, “Well, hopefully we’ll see you soon then.”

Robert lit a cigarette as he left, returning to his home where he felt emptier than usual. He tried not to think about it but both the handsome blond man and his wife occupied his thoughts. Nothing like a happy and loving family to make him remember how lonely he was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how i actually feel about this one but if it doesn't go up now its just gonna sit in my folder forever. im still sorta debating how i want this all to go so stay tuned

As the weeks went by the Christiansens adapted perfectly to the neighborhood and before long it seemed as if they had always been there. Joseph had already risen up in the church and was leading most of its activities, as well as taking initiative and starting a small neighborhood council in case any issues arose, not that they would.

Robert had seen quite a bit of Joseph but never really spent much time with him, as the man was so busy. His wife, on the other hand, was shaping up to be one of Robert’s closest friends (or, if he were honest with himself, his only friend). While Joseph was out and about doing his civic duties, Mary was at home bored out of her mind. Robert often saw her sitting on their porch drinking cranberry juice out of a wine glass and talking to Damien, who was apparently her brother, or feeding the animals that gathered around their yard.

At first Robert would just say hello as he walked by but before long he found himself sitting with her on the porch and talking for hours. He never smoked around her since it was bad for the babies but he was usually accompanied by his signature glass of whiskey.

The more he learned about Mary and Joseph the more confused and intrigued he was by their relationship. They had such different ideals he couldn’t figure out how they worked together, but overall they seemed happy.

Eventually he began to open up to her about his own life, sometimes tipsily ranting about his life and his many fuck-ups. Mary was understanding and never judgmental, but she also didn’t take his bullshit. If she thought he needed to stop feeling sorry for himself and grow the fuck up, she told him. Robert appreciated that about her, and it was probably what he needed.

“You should join us for dinner tomorrow,” Mary offered while they sat on the porch on afternoon. “It’ll make my life more interesting.”

“What, Prince Charming not entertaining enough?’

She laughed, shaking her head, “I think you’d like him if you saw how he actually is, rather than who he pretends to be.”

“And who says he wouldn’t pretend if I was there?”

“True, but maybe he’ll come out of his pastel pink shell. Show off some of his tattoos.”

Robert’s eyes widened, “He has tattoos?”

Mary nodded, “A few of ‘em. If you ask him nicely, maybe he’ll show off his anchor one. He likes that one a lot.”

* * *

 

The next day rolled around and Robert showed up to their doorstep only 5 minutes late, decently put together as well.

Joseph opened the door, all smiles as usual, and let Robert in, asking him to take his shoes off.

Mary was sitting on the couch and when Robert entered she tried to stand but gave up after two unsuccessful attempts, crossing her arms and groaning, “If these things don’t come out of me soon I’m gonna pull ‘em out myself.”

“Oh, come on, Mary,” Joseph sighed, shaking his head.

“You’re not the one who’s carrying 2 extra humans around so shut your trap.” Mary held out her hand and he helped her to her feet, kissing her cheek as he did.

“Have a seat, Robert, dinners almost ready,” Joseph returned to the kitchen and finished cooking, bringing out their meal a few minutes later. The food looked amazing. The only time Robert ate well was when his neighbors fed him.

They ate and talked, Mary still as sarcastic as ever, and Joseph actually let down his guard a bit when Robert inquired about his anchor tattoo, laughing and rolling up his sleeve to show off, flexing all the while. The man had some damn good arms and Robert had to stop himself from looking too long.

Mary excused herself for a while and Robert offered to help with the dishes, clearing the table and helping wash. He caught Joseph sneaking glances at him occasionally, as he had done during dinner, though every time Robert caught on he averted his eyes quickly enough that Robert thought he might just be imagining. That was until he turned, wiping his hands on one of the dish rags, and caught Joseph very obviously staring at him.

Joseph went back to putting the dishes away without a word, silently hoping Robert didn’t actually notice, when Robert placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump.

“Why do you keep looking at me?” Robert asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“I’m not—. It’s not what you think, I mean I am looking at you but is that so weird? You in my house—“

“Stop rambling.”

Joseph immediately shut up.

“Do I look funny or something? Is it the gray hairs?”

“No, you look fine. Great, actually,” Joseph’s face flushed as he silently cursed himself.

Robert raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, looking directly at the man, “What are you hiding?”

“Nothing. I’m not hiding anything,” he held his hands up in a display of innocence.

Robert dropped the subject and went back to wiping down the counter while Joseph put the last of the dishes away. He had just finished closing the cabinet when Robert grabbed him by the forearms and pushed him forcefully against the fridge.

Joseph gasped in shock, his heart racing, as Robert looked him dead in the eyes.

“So that’s it.”

“What?” Joseph stuttered out, mouth completely dry.

Robert grinned devilishly, leaning in closer, “You think I’m attractive.”

Joseph tripped over his words, panicked, “I mean, It’s not that I’m not attracted to you, you’re a fine looking man, but it’s not—“

“Cut the crap, Joseph. You’ve been staring at me all night. What do you want?”

“Nothing, I don’t want anything. It’s purely coincidence. Can we just drop it?”

Robert leaned in and pressed their lips together but Joseph’s reaction was enough to tell him what he needed to know as he immediately kissed him back. Robert pulled away, shaking his head, “Really, a coincidence?”

Joseph leaned his head back against the fridge, eyes closed, and sighed, “Just shut up. I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.”

“Then you shouldn’t have been so fucking obvious about it, especially sitting right next to your wife. You have a wife, remember? What do you even want?”

“I told you I don’t want anything,” he protested, trying to wrench his arms away from Robert’s grip. His heart beat faster with the realization that he couldn’t get away.

“Are you sure about that?” Robert let his hand brush by the front of Joseph’s khakis and he visibly shivered, attempting to will himself to calm down.

“Maybe,” Joseph said quietly.

Robert scoffed and backed away, “Disgusting.”

“What— after all of that that’s all you’re going to say? You were totally coming onto me!”

“You’re a married man and you’re trying to sleep with me. That’s pretty despicable.”

“I never said I was trying to sleep with you,” Joseph hissed.

“But you thought about it, didn’t you?” Robert smirked as Joseph blushed again.

“I wouldn’t, I would never cheat on Mary. I signed a contract in front of the Lord and—“

“You’re really easy to fluster, it’s kinda cute.” Robert shut up immediately when he realized what he’d said, “You know what, ignore me. I’m leaving.”

He attempted to walk away but Joseph reached out and grabbed his arm, “Wait. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, or for any of this, really. I just…”

“You just really wanna fuck me, yeah, I get it.” Robert laughed coldly, “I don’t need this kind of bullshit drama in my life, I’ve already made enough of a mess of it myself. If you’ve got issues with your marriage you can handle them yourself.”

“It doesn’t have to be a mess,” Joseph cursed himself as the words came out before he could even stop to think, “I mean, we can be discreet. Unless you’re not into me, then we can just pretend—“

Robert shook his head, “You know, you’re really something else. I should just turn you down right here but I guess I can’t stop getting myself into bad habits and I kinda want to see this other side of you. Maybe see a few more of those tattoos.”

Joseph’s smiled, “So you want to?”

“Under my circumstances. When I say it’s over, it’s over.”

Joseph chuckled, “We’ll see about that. So when…?”

Mary finally returned, poking her head into the kitchen, “I see you two are getting along well. What are you up to?”

Joseph straightened his back and smiled innocently at her, “Robert and I were discussing some plans for another neighborhood get-together. He said he’d help us with our next barbecue, right Robert?”

“Yeah,” Robert croaked out, “He’s gonna teach me how to grill.”

“Well isn’t that nice,” Mary sipped her drink, “I’m gonna go lay down, Joseph, you should put Chris to bed soon,” and with that she walked off.

Joseph finally let himself breathe as she left.

“I should get going,” Robert walked towards the door with Joseph in tow, sliding his shoes on, “I’ll message you or something, I guess.”

“Don’t keep me waiting.”

Robert shook his head one last time before walking out the door. This was already shaping up to be a disaster but he was almost looking forward to it.


End file.
